The Whole Cabootle

More Crazy Ramblings!

cnmillsap — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 06:37:35 +0000

So, here is something I should NEVER EVER DO! Tonight, I went through my old pictures. I just sat crying for a good amount of time for the people who I miss, the people who I love, and the people who really hurt me. I don’t know what prompted me to reminisce, but alas I did.

I am getting ready to begin the next phase of my life and I just feel that there is so much that is not at all how I had planned it out to be, but I guess that’s the bitch of it all. How do you plan life? I just know I made some HUGE blunders this year and I cannot afford to do that anymore. I just feel everyone is moving on with their life and mine is really just getting started.

Granted, I just don’t have any idea what I am going to do in May. I don’t have any idea where I am going to be and I just don’t know who I am going to be with in this next phase. My mother is uprooting herself finally from our home town so I will have no connections there… Everything is just so hazy. Some of the people I have counted on in the past have flown from my life and that is uncomfortable, even unbearable at times as to where I will have to step out of certain situations. I guess I don’t feel completely fine with the unknown. I just wish I had some stability right now… It all seems so crazy… MER!

Bought myself a gift!

cnmillsap — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 03:50:31 +0000

So, I have been feeling super crummy lately and I felt I needed something of a pick-me-up. Since I was fighting the urge to go shopping for shoes or clothes (which knowing me, would not have been cheap), I decided to tone it down and look for a new necklace that could help explain “who” I am…

Here’s what I found. I love it. Plus, I have a soft spot for lockets!

I think it is just superb! It is sooo me! Plus, the last thing before this that I bought that wasn’t a necessity wasn’t even for me! I am going to say that I deserve this… (Even if I don’t…)

What am I doing?

cnmillsap — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 15:53:30 +0000

So I am feeling super sick and I did nothing as far as my homework went last night. I feel as though I set myself back a couple of days. I just hate that no matter how awful you feel, you are still expected to make it to class, cough out a lung, and risk everyone else’s health just because someone may be an architecture student… MER! This is just stupid!

What Happens to me when I Drink

cnmillsap — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 05:27:36 +0000

Things that happen when I drink… I am compiling a list so that I am aware of what I do, that way I can avoid it!

1. I giggle. That isn’t a bad thing, but it happens a lot.

2. I forget about my space bubble. This one scares me a little. I guess it has been in place so long that it weirds me out that I can just not care for a while. I actually think it is kind of fun!

3. I get super flirty. This one is not good. I definitely wish that I could turn this one off. I know for a fact that the other night I started flirting with someone and I didn’t even mean to… Ugh.

4. I say things that I usually edit or keep in otherwise. This one has got to stop too.

5. I convey more confidence in myself. I can’t decide if this one is too over the top or not.

I am sure that there are more, but this is good for now.

There is a Mouse in Studio!

cnmillsap — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 05:53:28 +0000

Literally! It is so funny. Girls are screaming, guys are running with exacto blades in hand. (Didn’t their parents teach them not to run with sharp objects?)

This poor mouse has got to be freaking out. I actually feel bad for it. I doubt they are going to be humane about the whole situation…

My Own Sick Game

cnmillsap — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 15:36:57 +0000

I play this game some times where when I turn onto my street I imagine that there may be a specific car in my driveway waiting for me… I know it is never going to happen, but the fact that I still think like this makes me a little sick inside.

Taylor Swift

cnmillsap — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 15:09:49 +0000

Wow. This is so funny. Her revenge CD is awesome. It relates a lot to how I have felt. “The Story of Us” has been one of those songs. I wish country songs didn’t seem so real sometimes. I hate to like country sometimes…

Also, here are the lyrics to the song “Haunted”. I absolutely adore this song. It has such power.

You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
But, I never thought I’d live to see it break
It’s getting dark and its all too quiet
And I can’t trust anything now
And it’s coming over you like it’s all a big mistake

Oh, holding my breath
Won’t lose you again
Something’s made your eyes go cold

Come on, come on
Don’t leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something’s gone terribly wrong
You’re all I wanted

Come on, come on
Don’t leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can’t breathe whenever you’re gone
Can’t turn back now
I’m haunted

Stood there and watched you walk away
From everything we had
But, I still mean every word I say to you
He will try to take away my pain
And he just might make me smile
But, the whole time I’m wishing he was you instead

Oh, holding my breath
Won’t see you again
Something keeps me holding on to nothing

Come on, come on
Don’t leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out
Something’s gone terribly wrong
You’re all I wanted

Come on, come on
Don’t leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can’t breathe whenever you’re gone
Can’t turn back now
I’m haunted

I know, I know
I just know
You’re not gone
You can’t be gone
No

Come on, come on
Don’t leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something’s gone terribly wrong
Won’t finish what you started

Come on, come on
Don’t leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can’t breathe whenever you’re gone
I can’t go back
I’m haunted

You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
Never ever thought I’d see it break
Never thought I’d see it

Quote Time Again

cnmillsap — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 03:40:34 +0000

“Any time that is spent on love is not wasted.” -Tarquato Tasso

This was the basic concept I tried to relay this weekend. I was having a conversation and even though things don’t always go the way they should, it is never a waste of time to have spent it loving someone – no matter the outcome.

“It is love alone that gives worth to all things.” -Santa Teresa de Jesus

Smashing Pumpkins Song

cnmillsap — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 06:36:01 +0000

Well, I love how dark this song is. It is fantastic. Thank you guys for creating more musical art for me to enjoy!

Also, the addition of Christian Bale makes everything better!

To Make You Feel My Love

cnmillsap — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 06:48:34 +0000